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agarnergirl
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Name: Andrea
Gender: Female
Interests: caffeine, ethnic conflicts and reconciliation, pseudo indie music, theology, NPR, the great American novel, hip-hop, intellectual men, road trips, uncontrollable laughter, St. Louis, singing in the shower, Wes Anderson films, merengue, kissing in the rain, mini vegetarian corn dogs, culture, Cairdea's and Kaldi's, PBS, manuscript studies, Hindi movies, green tea, speaking Spanish, outdoor jazz concerts, and driving at night
Expertise: learning, sticking my foot in my mouth, self-depricating humor, language and cultural faux pas, and literary analysis
Occupation: Other
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
4/7/2005
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| ...attention focused on today / so quiet slip behind my back...
Ugh. No more and no less. Just plain ugh.
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There's a poem floating around my head. It's about hands. I think it's trying to get out and so I'm adding "set the poem free" to tomorrow's to-do list.
...i carved your name across my eyelids...
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| Allison and I ran our first race yesterday. It may have only been 3.1 miles but it was thrilling just the same. I find myself actually looking forward to the upcoming ones we're training for: a 5-miler in February, 10 in late March, and culminating with a half-marathon in April. We'll see where it goes after that.
It was definitely, like, 22˚ outside when we were running. I figure if we can race and then keep training in that kind of mess we can pretty much conquer the world. Pretty much.
In the midst of coming to terms with how unrealistic most of my expectations are for myself it's nice to accomplish the first of a series of small, reasonable steps toward a larger goal.
I may be slow, but I am steady. I may quit a dozen times along the way, but I'm good at un-quitting.
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I found this photo yesterday on a free stock photo site. It came up when I entered the word "waiting" in the search box.
Yes, this captures it nicely. I close my eyes and I'm the one perched on the shore looking out over the vast expanse of ocean. Every so often I stand up and scream out something unintelligible at it. But mostly I perch and I silently watch. I hear Imogen Heap singing "Hide and Seek" in my head. Watching and waiting needn't be minus a good soundtrack.
Today I listened to a sermon delivered by the dad of one of my dearest friends. It messed me up and induced a weep fest. I think both are okay. Check it out - you'll have to go to the media section, launch the sermon player, and then click on the 10/25/09 message by Gary Wittevrongel.
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| don't worry now it's all erased, burned to grey and white. / your fire-proof heart was never wasted, and steady all the while...so you say. Mountains, how much have I missed you? Quite a lot. Very late last night I convinced Esther to drive with me into your foothills in order to escape the Phoenix light pollution and take in the stars. Your hospitality is much appreciated. Homecomings give space for reflection and I've been making the most of that. I've finally put my finger on it - this thing that I've been up to for the past month or so. The sorting through an internal flood of memories, working tirelessly to remember who I was before I had tasted grief has been an attempt to preserve something...or someone. I want to save her. I wonder if she is the best part of me - impulsive, free to care, and oh-so-trusting girl - and I worry that I've been mourning her brutal slaying. This is the part where I decide whether or not I believe in resuscitation. ...run, run fast enough to lose yourself. our legs were straight but only move in circles. | | |
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